We named our party play list daddy issues
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
