He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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