whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
