i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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