cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize