i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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