Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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