is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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