So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
