we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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