she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
