This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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