it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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