I am in a vortex of obligation.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
