Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Are we still banned from the library?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
