coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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