Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
