Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
