Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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