What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
