She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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