this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My dick has a subreddit
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
