I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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