bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
