no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
