So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
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There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
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I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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