then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
