Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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