just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
