1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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