We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
