Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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