we should wear snuggies to the strip club
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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