Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
