btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
