I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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