Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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