Me too!
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
