just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
