I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize