if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
