remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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