I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
