I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
