I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
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Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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