if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
