I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
