I'm really into asian looking animals
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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