69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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