Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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