And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
