From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
