hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
