I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
