How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
