You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
