let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
