wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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