My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
