some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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