So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
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what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
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We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
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