No awkward lesbian experiences without me
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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