the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
